Dear Loyola Staff,
During elementary school, you encouraged us to explore and touch everything in the classroom, except the paper cutter.
Everything but the paper cutter.
You convinced us, if we touched it, we would either lose a finger or get detention (something like that).
I still don't feel like I should be allowed to use it now.
-Brian
DON'T YOU F---ING USE THAT PAPER CUTTER OR I WILL FLY TO THAILAND AND MURDER YOU.
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